Hal Spacejock 7: Big Bang Read online

  The racks held rows and rows of cartons, and most of them crumbled to his touch. Hal wasn't sure how long the cavern had been abandoned, but from the state of decay and the thick layers of dust coating every surface, he estimated well over a hundred years. He just hoped that alien batteries kept their charge longer than human ones.

  The shelves were a bust, and Hal brushed himself down before going over to inspect the cable drums. There were dozens of them, many sitting empty but a few with odds and ends of thick cable still attached. Hal assumed the builders had laid wires for lighting and power, and from the number of empty drums, he realised there had to be an awful lot of tunnels in the vicinity. Maybe there were other depots too, with more machinery he could turn into a handy profit? Hal rubbed his hands together at the thought, until he remembered this particular depot would become his tomb if he couldn't find a way out.

  The drums themselves wouldn't help him start the digging machine, but beyond there was a workbench attached to the wall. It was hidden from the teleporter by the big drums and the racks, which is why he hadn't spotted it earlier. There were quite a few tools lying around, most rusty and with broken handles and jaws, but there was also a cabinet fixed to the wall. Hal pulled the door open and grinned to himself. Inside were four batteries, connected together with a bunch of cables. Hal grabbed a pair of pliers, and despite the thick hand grips he managed to loosen the odd-looking nuts holding the wires to the batteries. Then he pulled the wires free, and immediately all the lights went out.

  "Bugger," said Hal, in the sudden darkness. Then he remembered the torch, and he dug in his flightsuit until he found it. The beam came on, cutting through the dust-laden air like a laser beam on a foggy night, and Hal tucked a battery under each arm before making his way back to the digging machine with the torch safely gripped between his teeth. He felt proud of himself, and he couldn't wait to tell Clunk about his skill and ingenuity. The robot often treated him like a wayward child, and Hal felt that getting himself out of a nasty scrape without relying on Clunk's help would be a definite turning point.

  Then he remembered the battery would only start the digger, not drive it, and his mood sagged a little as he remembered the complicated control panel. There was the small matter of fuel, too, and whether the machine would even turn over after so many years sitting around idle.

  Hal had almost reached the digger when there was a tremendously bright flash from the teleporter. He ducked instinctively, startled by the light, and then he realised what the flash meant. Someone - or something - had just teleported into the huge cavern. Had the aliens left a watchman - or rather, a watch-thing - to keep an eye on the place? When Hal unplugged the batteries, killing the lights, had it fired off a remote alarm, bringing unwanted attention? Or worse, what if instead of an alien it was some kind of sentry robot, heavily armed and ready to deal death and destruction to anyone foolish enough to mess with the aliens' equipment?

  Hal glanced to his left, towards the racks, and in the light of the torch he saw something that made his heart beat faster. Leaning against the nearest upright was something that could only be a weapon. Long and white, with a shoulder pad, a trigger and a power pack … this definitely wasn't to be confused with a telescope.

  Hal scooted over to the racks, keeping his head low. He grabbed the weapon, pressed the pad to his shoulder and turned in one rapid movement, ready to cut down any aliens, killer robots or death-dealing monsters that got in his way.

  Instead, sitting in the weapon's crosshairs, he saw a small egg-shaped device pulsing with baleful blue light. Hal almost opened fire, but there was something familiar about the device and he relaxed his trigger finger.

  Then he recognised the zeedeg, and he almost dropped the gun in surprise. Someone had teleported an unstable, viciously dangerous bomb right into his cavern full of valuable alien artifacts!

  Chapter 17

  Hal stared at the deadly zeedeg in shock, while stray thoughts zipped through his mind:

  Help, it's going to explode!

  My valuable artifacts will be destroyed.

  I'm going to die!

  Who sent it?

  And, finally:

  Why me?

  Hal realised someone was definitely trying to kill him, and it didn't take a wild guess to imagine who - or what - that might be. Clunk and the Navcom weren't oblivious to his fate, or worried about his well-being … they'd left him to die in the flood! Hal could imagine the pair of them plotting the whole thing out step by step. First, take on a job with lots of water and dodgy basements. Well, they'd done that all right. Next, get Hal underground and let the water in. Check. Finally, take off and wait for him to drown. Yep, that fitted too.

  Hal frowned as he reviewed certain events. No wonder the ladder had fallen off the roof, trapping him in the basement. Clunk had a screwdriver in his finger, didn't he? The ladder was fixed with screws, wasn't it?

  And that so-called telescope in the turret, the one which had almost cut Hal to ribbons. Clunk must have planted it months earlier when he first thought up the cunning plan. Hal snorted. It wouldn't surprise him if the robot had killed the house owner and buried his body in the garden, so they'd be offered the job in the first place. And the zeedeg! Funny how that just happened to be there when Hal walked into the larder. Clunk must have picked it up somewhere, then put it in the one place he knew Hal would explore first.

  Hal shook his head sadly as the lies and deception were revealed in all their machiavellian detail. How much evidence did he need? Clunk and the Navcom were clearly out to get him.

  As for why, well, Clunk was always saying he could run the Volante better on his own. According to the robot, Hal wasn't the valuable and respected captain of an interstellar freighter. Oh no, Hal had heard his faithful robot and his trusted flight computer talking behind his back, even though they covered it well by changing the subject whenever he happened by. According to the Navcom, Hal Spacejock was a disaster on legs. A nuisance to be tolerated. A collection of inefficient biological matter which was clearly surplus to requirements. According to Clunk, he was a biscuit-crumb-dispensing machine who broke vacuum cleaners, wasted good money on frippery like food and drink, and couldn't carry two suitcases across a busy road without losing one and dropping the other under the wheels of a passing truck.

  And now, when the two dastardly schemers discovered their drowning plan hadn't worked, they'd decided to move matters along by tossing a bomb at him.

  All of this introspection took a fair while, and by the time Hal finished cataloguing his grievances the zeedeg was pulsing like an emergency beacon. Hal studied the teleporter's control panel for a second or two, then selected the sender's address and hit the go button.

  "See how you like it, you tin-plated back-stabber," he muttered, as the zeedeg vanished in a flash of white light.

  * * *

  Clunk was just navigating through menu entries on the teleporter's control panel when it gave a sudden warning buzz. He barely had time to shepherd Amy out of the way before the teleporter activated, and neither was quick enough to shield their eyes from the intense glare. When they could see properly again, they realised the aliens did have a method of dealing with unwanted gifts: return to sender.

  Clunk frowned at the pulsing zeedeg, racking his electronic brain for a solution. Then it came to him - if he threw the thing, hard, and activated the teleporter at the right instant, the zeedeg would arrive at the other end with enough residual motion to carry it straight past whoever was standing there. Hopefully, the aliens would accept his 'gift' and deal with it properly, instead of sending it straight back again.

  There was only one problem: he couldn't throw the zeedeg and activate the teleporter at the same time. "Amy, I'm going to need your help."

  "Of course. What should I do?"

  Clunk explained his plan to her. "You understand the timing is critical? You must hit the send button at the right time. Too soon, or too late, and the zeedeg will not be teleported. Instead
, it will smash into the rear wall. The consequences could be catastrophic."

  "It'll explode, you mean."

  "That too."

  Amy looked thoughtful. "I have a better idea. Why don't I throw the zeedeg, and you hit the button?"

  "It's quite heavy," said Clunk doubtfully.

  "I was on the softball team in high school. I know a thing or two about throwing."

  Reluctantly, Clunk handed her the zeedeg. Amy hefted it in one hand, judging the weight and balance, then nodded. Clunk took up position near the control panel, finger poised, and after a couple of stretches Amy drew her arm back and launched the zeedeg into the teleporter with all her strength.

  * * *

  Hal was just dusting his hands off, pleased with the way he'd dealt with the back-stabbing duo of Clunk and the Navcom, when the teleporter activated once more. This time the zeedeg came flying through like a steel-plated football, parting his hair and almost taking his scalp off in the process. It bounced twice, slammed into a cable drum, and then spun on the spot, flashing and beeping in distress.

  Hal didn't waste any time. He darted over, grabbed the zeedeg, placed it in the teleporter and hit the send button. Shielding his eyes, he waited for the flash, but instead there was an angry buzz. Hal tried again, with the same result. Then he saw a new icon on the control panel - a picture of a teleporter with a red figure in the middle, arms and legs outstretched. With a sinking feeling Hal realised Clunk had outsmarted him - the robot was standing in the teleporter at the other end, using his tin-plated backside to block any further arrivals.

  Hal suspected he only had seconds to live, and he used the control panel feverishly, dredging up distant memories of the device as he sought the menu he was looking for. There it was - a list of past addresses. He definitely wanted to avoid anything nearby, in case the blast brought the cavern roof down on his head, so he picked the longest address he could find and fired the teleporter up, almost forgetting to shield his eyes in his haste.

  Flash! The zeedeg disappeared, and Hal peeped through his fingers as he waited to see whether it would come back again. He could imagine a deadly game of pass-the-parcel, where one reluctant recipient after another sent the zeedeg on its way until the unlucky winner took out the prize … and half the neighbourhood.

  For a second, Hal considered stepping into the teleporter to block anyone passing the parcel back to him, but he wasn't sure that was wise. It was possible the original builders knew how to override the system, and the last thing he wanted was a zeedeg buried in his vitals.

  Slowly, Hal lowered his hands, and a few moments later he breathed a sigh of relief. He'd got rid of the unstable zeedeg for good. Unfortunately Clunk was still out there, clearly bent on murdering him, but Hal still had the gun and he'd soon show the robot what you got when you messed with Hal Spacejock.

  Remembering the weapon, Hal picked it up and gave it a thorough inspection. He discovered a small power switch, and when he turned it on a couple of status lights glowed amber. Hal raised the gun to his shoulder and rested his finger on the trigger, sighting along the barrel at one of the cable drums. He hesitated, unsure whether to risk a quick burst. For all he knew the thing was powerful enough to punch a new tunnel straight into the rock, and the recoil might tear his arms off. All the evidence he'd spotted so far, from the thick railings to the spacing on the steps and the padding on the chairs in the tunneling machine, suggested the alien race was short and sturdy. If they were stronger than humans, their weapons could inflict terrible damage on anyone foolish enough to fire one.

  Plus, the gun was decades old, and possibly unstable. What if it blew up the second Hal pulled the trigger? If he killed himself with the alien weapon, he'd only be doing Clunk a massive favour.

  On the other hand Clunk was still lurking around, and if the robot caught up with him they'd have to duel to the death. Better to test the weapon now, than face the robot in unarmed combat.

  So, Hal aimed at a cable drum and pulled the trigger.

  Whirrrrrrr!

  Hal frowned. He'd expected a burst of energy, or a pulse of pure light. Instead, the gun sounded like a high-powered hair dryer, and when he lowered the end towards the floor it started blasting dust and grit away, cleaning the surface. Hal sighed, releasing the trigger. The 'gun' wasn't an alien weapon at all … no, the damn thing was a leaf blower. Still, he thought, it was just as well he'd tested it. Imagine the embarrassment if he'd tried to blow Clunk's head off with the 'gun', and instead had merely dusted the robot's cooling vents.

  Hal pulled the trigger and put his hand in the gusting air, trying to work out whether he could use the leaf blower to hurl makeshift missiles, much like he had with the vacuum cleaner and the rubber balls. Unfortunately, that was a bust too. The stream of air was nowhere near strong enough.

  He'd just lowered his hand when there was a 'Phwoom!' sound, and the leaf blower bucked in his grip. Nearby, half a cable drum vanished with a loud WHOOSH!

  It was a weapon, Hal realised with a surge of joy. It was just a bit flakey, that was all.

  "Neat!" he breathed, as he inspected the ruined cable drum. The weapon had torn it apart, dissolving most of it and rendering the rest into an amorphous slag. Impressed, Hal vanished several more items, making 'pow, pow, pow' sounds as he did so to compensate for the gun's relative silence. Then he stopped firing, as it dawned on him that every shot was eating into his salvage money.

  Hal lowered the weapon and looked around the cavern. He'd organised his offence, but next he had to sort out the defences. There were a couple of shadowy doorways around the perimeter of the cavern, leading into the tunnel system, and he suspected Clunk would try to sneak through one of them. So, he started rolling cable drums around, aiming to build a defensive wall incorporating cunning shooting holes, so he could take out any intruders before they realised what was happening.

  Chapter 18

  While Hal was busy assembling a fortress, Clunk was studying the teleporter's control panel. Now they'd seen the last of the zeedeg, it had dawned on him that the teleporter was actually their only means of escape. The zeedeg had gone back and forth successfully, without any apparent damage, and that had given Clunk confidence in the ancient teleporter. He wasn't keen on sending Amy through, but the alternative was to leave her behind, and he was even less keen on that idea.

  So, he poured all his processing power into decyphering the control panel's menu system, paying particular attention to the strings of symbols representing addresses. There wasn't enough data to work out where the addresses led to, but he did discover one important fact: the longer the string of digits, the bigger the distance to the destination teleporter.

  Clunk was absolutely certain he didn't need to teleport Amy to another world, or a distant galaxy, so he skipped the longer addresses until he came to a set of shorter ones. One was familiar, since he'd used it a couple of times already when he was trying to get rid of the zeedeg. He had no intention of meeting the person on the other end of that particular address, so he skipped that one as well. That left two, either of which could lead to safety … or more danger.

  Clunk glanced at Amy, who'd been watching him in silence. "I've found two addresses we can use, but I can't decide between them. There's no way of knowing what we might find at the other end."

  "Pick either. I don't mind."

  "What if it's the wrong choice? I would never forgive myself."

  Amy smiled. "It's a roll of the dice, Clunk. Anything's better than this."

  "It might not be," said Clunk. "In fact, it might be a lot worse."

  "Okay, take the first one."

  Clunk was about to argue, but he realised Amy was right. "You need to stand in the middle of the chamber. You may feel disoriented when we arrive at the other end, but I'll do my best to shield you from danger."

  "I shouldn't worry too much," said Amy lightly. "With my luck it'll probably be another stretch of tunnel."

  "Amy, this is an ancient teleporter network b
uilt by an alien species. We're heading into the unknown, possibly going to our deaths. Aren't you nervous?"

  "I wasn't before, but if you keep telling me how awful it's going to be …"

  "I'm sorry. I just want you to make an informed decision."

  "I made my decision ages ago. Hit the button."

  Clunk hesitated, his finger poised over the control panel. Then he saw Amy's expression, and he pressed it quickly.

  Flash!

  They reappeared in an identical teleporter, facing an identical tunnel which ended in a sharp corner.

  "Surprise surprise," said Amy drily.

  "Shh!" mouthed Clunk, motioning her to silence. "I can hear something."

  Amy cocked her head, listening hard, and Clunk wondered whether she could hear the same thing he could. There was a deep rumbling sound nearby, which went on for several seconds before ending in a loud crash. Amy jumped at the sound, and despite the gloom Clunk could see the concern in her eyes.

  Then he heard something else: a voice. Whoever it was, they were muttering under their breath, and Clunk amplified his hearing to maximum as he strove to pick up the words. Then the rumbling started again, and the subsequent crash almost blew his hearing circuit. Clunk had barely turned the gain down when there was another crash followed by some more muttering.

  "I'm going to take a look," said Clunk. "You stay here."

  * * *

  Clunk moved stealthily, placing his feet carefully and slowing his fans to minimum speed in case they alerted anyone to his approach. For all he knew, the people in the tunnel might be workers shoring up walls against the flood, workers who would be more than happy to help Clunk and Amy reach the surface. On the other hand, they might not be people at all.

  Clunk was pretty sure the teleporter had only moved them a short distance, since the planet's magnetic field was identical to Chiseley's. It was a big Universe though, and there was always a chance they'd arrived at a new planet with an identical magnetic field.