Hal Spacejock 6: Safe Art Read online

  Hal closed his eyes and waited for the gunshot. When nothing happened, he gave the robot a venomous look. "Thanks for that, Clunk. I don't know where I'd be without your help."

  They finished loading in silence, and when they were done Harriet told them about her orders.

  "You're coming with us?" said Hal in surprise.

  "Believe me, it's not by choice."

  Hal smiled to himself. If Harriet was travelling with them, he'd have plenty of time to explain. Things didn't look so bad after all!

  Chapter 23

  They drove to the spaceport in silence. To start with, Hal tried to lighten the mood with a few Peace Force jokes, but soon stopped when he saw Harriet's grip tightening on her weapon. After that, he kept his mouth shut and stared straight ahead.

  The truck rumbled over the causeway to the spaceport, and Hal frowned as he saw the sandy beach. Gentle waves lapped at the shore, and he could still see the scattered sand where he'd spent the night. He was going to point it out to Harriet, but one look at her face changed his mind.

  Loading went without a hitch, and Harriet went to her cabin while Clunk returned the rental truck. After a few moments frowning at the artworks cluttering up his nice clean hold, Hal made his way to the flight deck. On the way he paused outside Harriet's door, and he was shocked to discover the little nameplate was missing. There was only a discoloured patch of metal to show where it had been fixed to the door for the past few months.

  Hal raised his hand to knock, then changed his mind and leant closer to the door. He strained his ears, but it was deathly quiet inside, and for all he knew Harriet was fast asleep. Silently, he turned away and headed for the flight deck.

  He made himself comfortable and started paging through the ship's message log. There may have been some nuggets amongst all the enlargement spam, double enlargement spam, intergalactic lottery spam and phishing attempts, but if there was he couldn't see any.

  "Did we get any messages overnight? Anything to do with Bright's cargo?"

  "Negative, but there was a suspicious amount of intrusion activity."

  "You mean someone tried to board my ship?"

  "No, electronic intrusion."

  "What were they after?"

  "Your itinerary."

  Hal shrugged. "There's no mystery about that. We're heading to Niaritz to deliver those artworks."

  "Yes, but there are several ways to get there. I believe the intruders were trying to obtain your exact course."

  "Do we even have one of those? I thought we just aimed in the general direction and hit the jump button."

  "And that's why Clunk won't let you fly your own ship."

  Before Hal could object, the lift doors opened and Clunk strolled in. "Good news, Mr Spacejock. The rental company refunded your deposit on the truck."

  "Don't they always?"

  "Only when you return their vehicles in one piece."

  Hal tried to remember the last time they'd managed this, but he came up blank. "Hey listen, you know the AutoChef?"

  "I'm aware of the device, yes."

  "Can you reprogram it for something really special? I want to impress Harriet tonight." Hal spread his hands, encompassing the console. "I can picture a huge table with a snowy white cloth, and silver cutlery gleaming under the candlelight."

  Clunk looked uncertain. "Me, I can picture a rickety picnic table with plastic cutlery and a couple of dim torches."

  "All right, but what about the food? A nice roast with veg, a sparkling wine, and afterwards a rich dessert with real fruit."

  "I'm sorry, Mr Spacejock. The only way Ms Walsh is going to enjoy a meal like that is if you take her to a restaurant."

  "I can't ask her to a restaurant, can I? I stood her up once, and when she went on her own I turned up to the same restaurant with someone else."

  "A very poor decision, if you ask me."

  "I wasn't. Can you rustle up some decent food or not?"

  "I will do everything in my power."

  "Make sure you're fully charged, then." Hal turned away, but before he could leave there was a double chime from the console.

  Ding dong!

  "Is that an incoming message?" demanded Hal.

  "No," said the Navcom. "It's an incoming visitor."

  Hal glanced towards the airlock. "It's not that Boson guy, is it?"

  "Unable to say."

  "Can we lift off quick, before they come in?"

  "Only if you want their death on your hands."

  "Fair enough." Hal crossed to the airlock and peered out. Standing on the landing platform was Meri Ryder.

  "Oh great," muttered Hal, before opening the door.

  "Hi, how are you doing?" asked Ryder. She kissed him on the cheek, then wiped away the lipstick smudge with her thumb.

  "Er, fine," said Hal lamely. "What can we do for you?"

  "You can carry my case. I tried to pack light, but it's damn heavy."

  Hal looked outside and saw a large suitcase on the landing platform. "What's that for?"

  "It's my clothes, silly. I was going to catch a ferry to Niaritz, and then I realised you'd be all alone aboard this big, empty ship. You don't mind giving me a lift, do you?"

  * * *

  Hal stared at Meri in shock. "You can't fly with us. I mean, it's not a good time. I mean —"

  "Oh, go on." She gave him a warm smile. "I'd be very grateful, and we can have that special dinner I promised you."

  "But I, we, I mean —"

  "Hey, I like your flight deck," said Meri, pushing past him. "Do you fly the ship from that seat?"

  Defeated, Hal grabbed the suitcase and followed her inside. Clunk was looking at Ryder in concern, and he gave Hal a worried glance over her head. Hal met his gaze and shrugged. "Can you show her to the third deck? There's a comfortable sofa down there, and you can break out some spare blankets."

  "As you wish, Mr Spacejock. However, I do think you should have informed me of this little arrangement of yours."

  "I didn't know about this little arrangement," said Hal. "It's all a bit, er, unexpected."

  "I don't want to put you out," said Meri. "If it's too much trouble …"

  "Well, to be honest —"

  "Good, that's settled. Third deck, did you say? Clunk, will you bring my case?"

  "Don't forget to check the cargo sling," called Hal. He watched them leave, and as the doors closed he gave a frustrated groan. "This can't possibly get any worse," he muttered.

  "I beg to differ," said the Navcom. "I just received the bill for port fees, duties, and amenities. Would you care to authorise payment?"

  "Hang on a minute. I thought Bright was covering that?"

  "I tried to use his voucher, but the number was invalid."

  "So check the number."

  "I did."

  "So make up a new number!"

  "That is neither ethical nor legal."

  "How much are these fees, anyway?"

  The Navcom told him.

  "Wow, Clunk wasn't kidding when he said this place was expensive." Hal rubbed his chin and played with the change in his pocket. Then he played with his chin and rubbed the change. Then he remembered just how much change he was carrying. "Hey, do they take cash?"

  * * *

  Lift-off was a cautious affair, with Clunk all too aware of the large rock hanging beneath the Volante's belly. The flight deck creaked and swayed alarmingly as the rock swung from side to side, and Hal held his breath until they reached orbit. Then, with the rock happily settled in zero-G, he took Clunk aside for a quick planning session. "You understand we can't let Harriet know about Meri, don't you?"

  "Wouldn't it be best to come clean with both of them?"

  "Hell no. You were there when Harriet decked me —"

  "Oh yes. I remember that clearly."

  "— and she might go one further next time."

  "She only assaulted you because you forgot to have dinner with her."

  "There was more to it than that. I t
hink … I think she might still care for me."

  "But she left you, Mr Spacejock. She has a career in the Peace Force now.

  "Look, this is the way I see it. Harriet had to choose me or the Peace Force, and she chose the Force. With me so far?"

  Clunk nodded.

  "When she left, she didn't just stop liking me. You don't turn emotions on and off like a tap." Hal glanced at the robot. "Well, we don't, anyway."

  "My emotions aren't exactly binary," said Clunk stiffly. "Anyway, if Ms Walsh left you she can hardly object to whomever you choose to, er, shack up with."

  "I'm not shacking up with anyone!" protested Hal.

  "That's not what Ms Walsh suspects."

  Hal seized on this. "Right, she only suspects it. Given time, I can explain. Bring her round. But if she comes face to face with Meri in the middle of the night …"

  "She'll punch you again."

  "Or worse," said Hal darkly.

  "Very well, I understand and am in full agreement. Ms Walsh must not learn of Ms Ryder's presence."

  "Thank you."

  "However, does it really matter if Ms Ryder learns of Ms Walsh's presence?"

  "I'd rather keep them apart." Then Hal gave a strangled cry. "Oh, crap! What if they talk with each other at the next stop? Harriet'll find out they both travelled there aboard my ship!"

  "Hello, major arse kicking."

  "What?"

  "That's the technical term for the likely outcome."

  "You sound like you're enjoying all this," said Hal, with a suspicious look at the robot.

  "Me, enjoy your suffering? Never, Mr Spacejock."

  "So wipe that smirk off your face."

  "I am attempting to convey sympathy for your situation, but my fine control motors aren't what they used to be."

  "It looks just like a smirk to me."

  Clunk reached up and straightened his face. "Better?"

  "You look like you bit into a lemon."

  Clunk adjusted his face again, until he was leering like a carnival clown.

  "Just … leave it." Hal gave the tricky situation some thought. "Okay, here's what we'll do. We'll tell Meri we're only licensed for cargo, and she's breaking the law by coming aboard. We face a big fine for carrying passengers, that sort of thing. Tell her she's put us in a bad way. Tell her we'll be bankrupt if she ever mentions the Volante, especially to any Peace Force officers who she may or may not meet at the exhibition. Tell her … oh, I don't know. Just lay it on thick and make sure she understands."

  "When are you going to explain this to Ms Ryder?"

  "I'm not. You are."

  "Mr Spacejock, I'm a first-class pilot, not a first-class liar. I should be handling the ship, not taking on duties for which you are more suitably qualified."

  "Oh sure, dump it in my lap." Muttering under his breath, Hal strode towards the lift. One way or the other he was going to keep a lid on the situation.

  * * *

  Alone at last, Clunk sat in the pilot's chair and breathed a remarkably human sigh.

  "What's that sound?" asked the Navcom in concern. "Have you punctured a cooling line?"

  "No, I was indicating relief," said Clunk. "The artworks have been sold, which means our little substitution will never be discovered."

  "It was more than a little substitution," said the Navcom. "In fact, given the size of that asteroid I'd say it was a very large substitution."

  Clunk waved one hand airily. "Small, large or intermediate … it's no longer an issue. The new owner won't be any the wiser, and the artist will never see his Hairpiece again."

  "So you could say we survived a close brush with disaster?"

  Clunk snorted. "Amusing, Navcom. Very amusing."

  Chapter 24

  "Illegal passenger, me?"

  Meri's eyes were wide behind her rimless glasses, and her mouth was a perfect O. Hal remembered the warmth of those lips, the hot embrace at the gallery, and for a moment he was completely distracted. "Y-yes," he said at last. "Totally illegal. I could get into real trouble with the law."

  They were sitting side by side on the deep, comfortable sofa, down on the Volante's third deck. There were two empty armchairs nearby, but somehow Hal had ended up alongside Meri, their hips touching and her face up close. Meri's leg was warm, her eyes were magnetic, and Hal knew he'd have to get up and leave soon or he wouldn't be leaving at all. "I, er, captainy things to do, flies to ship … I mean, er …"

  Meri put her hand on his thigh, and warmth ran up Hal's leg to his brain. "Peace Force, gun. Peace Force, gun," he muttered under his breath.

  "Did you say something?"

  "No, nothing." Hal swallowed. "Look, I have to go."

  "Can't Clunk fly the ship on his own?"

  "S-sometimes, but I have to supervise."

  "Oh, all right." Meri withdrew her hand and looked around the lower deck. "Where do you sleep, by the way?"

  "I have a cabin on the next level."

  "Really?"

  "Yes. The, er, second deck is off-limits to passengers. Totally forbidden."

  "But I'm not a passenger, am I? I'm a stowaway."

  "Yeah, I, er —"

  Meri put her hand back on his thigh, running it up and down lightly. "Stowaways can end up anywhere."

  Hal got up in a hurry. "I've gotta dash. You stay down here, okay?"

  "I might, if you tie me up." Meri put her hands out, wrist upwards. "Do you have any handcuffs?"

  Hal fled to the lift, and once he was safely inside he shook himself all over. Meri was like a powerful drug, and one more hit could easily leave him hooked.

  The lift stopped, and Hal was getting ready to step into the flight deck when he realised he was on the second level. The doors opened, and he saw Harriet Walsh standing right in front of him.

  "H-hello," said Hal lamely. "Going up?"

  Harriet shook her head. "I thought I'd go down and get something from the AutoChef."

  "You can't!" said Hal in alarm. "It's … it's broken."

  "Fine. I'll grab a coffee instead."

  "There's a machine in the flight deck. I'll bring something to your cabin."

  "Are you all right, Hal? You look flushed."

  "I'm fine," said Hal briefly. "Let me get you that coffee."

  * * *

  It was past midnight, and Hal was lying in his bunk. The lights were out, and the dim glow from the safety light was barely enough to make out his hand in front of his face. The ship's engines rumbled in the distance, a constant, comforting sound which usually lulled him into sleep.

  Not this time. Hal had been lying there for some hours now, knowing he needed to rest for the next day, but unable to close his eyes and drift off. Dinner had been fraught, but he'd managed to deliver food to Walsh's cabin while keeping Meri below decks.

  Now Walsh was in her cabin, Meri was asleep on the third deck, and Hal was alone in his bunk. He sighed and turned towards the wall. A week ago, if someone had told him he'd be hosting two attractive women aboard his ship, he'd have laughed long and hard. Now the joke was on him.

  Tap tap.

  Hal's ears pricked up. Was that a knock at the door?

  Tap tap.

  There was definitely someone outside his cabin. Was it Clunk, come to report on some disaster? Or was it Meri, playing the stowaway as she'd promised? Hal's first reaction was to jam his pillow over his head and ignore it. Unfortunately, Harriet was just up the corridor, and if the knocking got any louder she might come to investigate.

  Hal got up and crossed to the door. There was just enough light to see the rectangular shadow in the middle of the wall, and he found the contact alongside with his first touch. The door swept open, and a shadowy figure advanced on him, falling into his arms. He felt her breath on the side of his face, and there was a throaty whisper right next to his ear.

  "Hal, I need you."

  Hal turned his face towards the voice, and felt hot lips on his. He responded fiercely, feeling the warmth of Meri's body agai
nst his own. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears, and his legs moved of their own volition, backing them both towards his waiting bunk.

  Then he stopped, breaking the kiss. "I can't do this," he whispered. "It's not right."

  There was a long silence, and in the darkness Meri rested her forehead on his chest.

  "We have to be professional," whispered Hal. "I'm really sorry."

  Meri kissed him again, gently this time, and he was shocked to feel the wetness of her cheeks. Then she was gone, the door hissing to behind her.

  Hal collapsed in his bunk, his heart still thudding like fury. That had been close … really, really close. But if he wanted to win Harriet back, it was the only way. For some reason Meri had been really upset, but he couldn't help that. Hal put two fingers to his lips, frowning as he traced the outline. There'd been something different about the kiss, something familiar. It was almost as though …

  Tap tap.

  Hal groaned and buried his head in his hands. Meri obviously believed in third time lucky, but this time he'd be really firm with her. He crossed to the door, opened it, and two seconds later he was wrapped in another passionate kiss. With his free hand he sought the control pad, and after the door closed he turned the light on.

  Meri squinted and covered her eyes, and while her hands were occupied Hal managed to get free. "Look, I already told you," he whispered. "We can't keep doing this. I know it's upsetting, but …"

  Meri looked between her fingers. "Upsetting? What are you talking about?"

  "You were crying."

  "The hell I was."

  Meri lowered her hands, and Hal realised she was telling the truth. Her cheeks were flushed, but there was no sign of tears. "But you were just here! We —"

  "Sounds like someone was having a nice dream." Meri glanced at the bed, taking in the rumpled sheets and dented pillow. "Did anything good happen?"

  Hal couldn't reply. A huge, dark hole had just opened under his feet, and he was on the point of falling through to oblivion. This was Meri's first visit to his cabin, and the lips he'd been kissing five minutes ago certainly weren't Clunk's. That only left … "Harriet!"

  Meri frowned. "Who?"

  "Look, you've got to leave," whispered Hal urgently. "Go back down to the third deck and stay there."